


No Thank You

by IHScribe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1975878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHScribe/pseuds/IHScribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter declines to attend Hogwarts, and Albus Dumbledore is forced to go and convince him otherwise.  Too bad he didn’t expect the boy’s father(s).</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Thank You

**Author's Note:**

> Fandoms: Sherlock, Harry Potter
> 
> Characters: Albus Dumbledore, Sherlock Holmes
> 
> Prompt: Albus is in for a surprise when he learns that Harry Holmes (Harry Potter) won't be easy to manipulate after being raised by Sherlock and John Holmes (Watson).
> 
> Prompt Made By: Forest of Ice
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the following series(es) or any character(s) that follow, and unless _I. H. Scribe_ is listed after _Prompt Made By_ chances are I don't own the idea for this story either.

Harry Potter had declined his invitation to Hogwarts.

No one had declined an invitation to Hogwarts in four centuries. And why would they? Hogwarts was the best magical school in the world, second to none. Albus Dumbledore just couldn't understand why anyone would decline an invitation to Hogwarts, much less the Boy-Who-Lived.

Surely living with the Dursleys was unpleasant enough for the boy be willing to take any way out of their presence that he could? Dumbledore shook his head in confusion, and continued reading the letter.

_Dear Deputy Headmistress McGonagall,_

_While I thank you for your kind invitation to the supposedly_ best _magical school in the world, I must decline. I do not, at this time, wish to attend a school that does not even know my correct name._

_Please remove my address from your records and do not contact me again._

_Thank you,_

_Harry Holmes_

Holmes? Why did the boy think his last name was Holmes? Even if the Dursleys' had treated him better than Dumbledore thought, wouldn't he be a Dursley instead of a Holmes? Dumbledore looked at the envelope the letter came in. In the top left corner was a second name address, something Muggles did that Dumbledore never understood. Surely reading a letter would allow you to know who it was from.

_Harry Holmes_

_221c Baker Street_

_London, E_ -

"Baker Street?" Dumbledore mused. "But the Dursleys live on Privet Drive. Perhaps they moved, though that doesn't explain why he thinks his last name is Holmes."

Dumbledore would just have to send someone to explain to the boy that attending Hogwarts was an honor one shouldn't refuse. Someone who would put him in a good light – Hagrid, perhaps. Yes, Hagrid. Hagrid always had a good word to say about Albus Dumbledore.

Hagrid it was.

* * *

Hagrid came back in tears. As he was bawling, nearly drowning Dumbledore in a stream of tears in the process, Albus managed to catch a few snippets about Harry's father having done something to Hagrid. What James managed to do to Hagrid from beyond the grave, Albus didn't know, but it was apparently bad enough to cause Hagrid to cry.

Oh, and Harry still said no to Hogwarts.

Dumbledore sent McGonagall next. She returned with the same answer, and then smacked him across his face in the middle of a staff meeting.

Pomfrey returned with several books, and the same answer. "Harry  _Holmes_ ," she stressed, "will not attend Hogwarts."

Flitwick returned with a bounce in his step, and a letter saying that further contact would not be treated as kindly.

Burbage, Vector, and Babbling all returned in tears. Sprout outright refused to go after that. Trelawney's inner eye did not see a good time for her to go, so she refused as well. Kettleburn also refused, claiming to wish to keep his remaining limbs intact, and oh, by the way, he was retiring at the end of next year, no exceptions.

Quirrel never returned, sending only a letter saying he was taking another leave of absence and that he apologized for leaving Hogwarts without a teacher in one of the core classes with so little notice.  _By the way_ , the letter also said,  _Mr. Holmes' answer remains the same_.

Snape also did not return, as apparently he had been arrested for attempted assault and then connected to several mysterious murders that had happened over a decade ago during the time of the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters. Amelia Bones was being very cooperative with her muggle counterparts, and very uncooperative with Dumbledore's attempt to get the man released.

Finally, with no other recourse – or other staff to send – Dumbledore decided it was time he had a chat with the Potter boy, and end this silly Holmes and not attending Hogwarts nonsense once and for all.

* * *

Dumbledore knocked on the door of 221B Baker Street. An older woman answered the door.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Harry Potter."

"Ah, another one. Up the stairs, just there dear. Knock before you enter, won't you? And tell the boys no blood on the carpet, hmm?"

Dumbledore blinked at the odd request, "Of course." He climbed the stairs and knocked on another door. It was answered, this time, by a rather short, younger man.

"Let the Headmaster of Hogwarts in, won't you John?" a voice called from within. John opened the door wider and gestured for Dumbledore to enter.

"Do I even want to know how you know he's the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Sherlock?" John asked.

The taller, darker-haired man answered, "He's sent one staff member a day since Harry told him no, and he's run out of staff."

"Missing a few, though?" John asked.

"Three of them refused, after the little man came," Sherlock answered.

"And how could you possibly know that, sir?" Dumbledore asked.

"Why, dear Minerva told me, of course. We've been exchanging letters, nearly at the rate that John has with Madame Pomfrey."

"Ah. The woman downstairs-"

"Mrs. Hudson," Sherlock interjected.

"Yes, Mrs. Hudson. She said to tell you 'no blood on the carpet'?"

"Hmm. That Snape fellow did bleed quite a bit," John said. He had pointed a weapon at people John cared about. People who did that tended not to be given a chance to try it again. Luckily, for Snape, Moriarty had been at 221B at the time, and gotten to him before John did.

Moriarty may be rather insistent on playing a game with Sherlock that had nearly gotten them both killed on more than one occasion, but there was no denying that Harry had the man wrapped around his little finger. Mycroft certainly didn't mind, using Moriarty's relationship with Harry to set the man on several of the family's enemies.

And while John didn't like it, there was also no denying that Harry was the safest child in all of England. After seeing what Moriarty did to the first few people who had kidnapped Harry, no one else had tried it.

"Severus?" Dumbledore asked, shocked.

"He raised a weapon to myself and my son," Sherlock said. "Harry's  _Uncle Jim_ didn't take that very well. Regardless, you are here to convince my son to go to Hogwarts, despite his already repeated refusals, am I correct? Of course I am. I always am."

"Sherlock," John said.

"Moving on. What has changed at Hogwarts since the last attempt to recruit my son, aside from the loss of two professors?"

"Er, changed?"

"Yes, changed. As in altered, differed, improved. What have you done since the last attempt that makes you think this attempt will be any more successful than your last attempts?"

"Hogwarts is the best magical school in the world!" Dumbledore said. "We do not need to  _change_!"

"If everything remains the same, what makes you think you will succeed, then?" Sherlock asked.

"That would be between me and Mr. Potter."

"Holmes," Sherlock and John both said.

"Sherlock and I adopted Harry several years ago," John continued, "and he decided to take our last name when we did."

"Harry  _Potter_  is the name on the Hogwarts records."

"Well then we're done," Sherlock said. "After all, there is no Harry Potter here. Only Harry Holmes. You can leave now."

"Not until I see the boy," Dumbledore thundered.

"Yelling, really?" Harry asked, sticking his head out of one of the rooms down the hall. "My experiments require quiet."

Dumbledore stared at Harry flummoxed, while John gave Sherlock a half-hearted glare and muttered, "Of all the things he had to get from you."

"Ah, Harry, my boy," Dumbledore began.

"I'm not your boy, I'm not going to Hogwarts, and the  _name_  is Harry  _Holmes_. Good day, sir." Harry shut the door.

"That and the rudeness," John muttered.

Sherlock glanced at John, snorted, and then said, "Harry, come out here and speak with our guest,  _please_ , so that we may send him on his way as quickly as possible."

Harry opened the door, peeked his head out and glared at all three of them.

"Now, Harry," John said. Harry huffed, but joined them in the living room.

"Well now, my boy," Dumbledore began again.

"I'm not your boy," Harry repeated. "Explain to me, one reason at time, why I should go to Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts is the best magical school in the world," Dumbledore said.

"So I've heard. Don't care. Next."

"Your parents went there and would want you to attend."

"That's two reasons," Harry said, pointedly, "Strike one. Neither Papa or Father attended Hogwarts, and both have accepted my wish to not go."

"I meant you real parents, my boy."

"Strike two. Father and Papa  _are_  my real parents," Harry said, "and I am not your boy. If you are referring to my  _biological_  parents, I find it hard to accept anything they wanted for me considering they wanted the Dursleys to take care of me if something happened to them."

"Where are the Dursleys?" Dumbledore asked.

"Jail," Harry said. "Strike three. You're out. Please leave."

"But-"

"But nothing," Harry said. "I do not wish to attend Hogwarts. Further attempts to contact me will be met with a harassment lawsuit. Goodbye, sir." Harry crossed his arms and glared at Dumbledore.

"I'll walk you to the front door," John said, holding the apartment door open. Dumbledore decided to cut his losses for now, and try again later.

"Ah, yes, thank you," Dumbledore said. He turned to Harry one last time. "Are you sure I can't convince you to come to Hogwarts."

"Very sure," Harry replied.

"Very well. Goodbye then, Mr. Pot-Holmes. I hope we meet again." John followed Dumbledore down the stairs and opened the door for him.

"Oh, and Headmaster," John said, as he exited.

Dumbledore turned around with a quizzical expression on his face, "Yes?"

CRACK!

John Holmes punched him in the nose before shutting the door in his face.  _Well_ , Dumbledore thought to himself, as the blood began pouring down his face and beard,  _at least there's no blood on Mrs. Hudson's carpet._

**Author's Note:**

> I am accepting prompts on Fanfiction.net and Livejournal. For more information on prompts, click [here for FF.net](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/5241068/) and go to the Accepting Prompts Section, or click [here for livejournal](http://ihscribe.livejournal.com/557.html) and see the Accepting Prompts post.


End file.
